So I’m standing in Union Square, just getting some fresh NY air, and I’m watching people. It’s what I do. We’re fascinating apes when you get around to it, and I’m constantly amazed by the variety of people you see in a city block.
Breakdancers, fat girls thinking they’re thin, thin girls thinking they’re fat, dudes trying too hard to be not-themselves….and my new friends
Die-hard religious fundamentalists.
Let’s be clear: I don’t care what you believe in and I’m not about to force my views on spiritual matters at you.
However, I do care when people take it upon themselves to thrust their views (however broad or narrow) upon others, because they’ve made a conscious decision to think for you.
It’s one thing to give an opinion. It’s another thing to subject another person to your opinion.
You see a lot of this in the Community, minus the religious fervor.
Here’s the meat: People seek guidance when they believe the cannot guide themselves.
There’s nothing wrong with seeking guidance. It can be helpful, life-saving and life-changing. But there comes a time when the external guidance MUST end. Internal guidance must be created, developed and allowed to prosper.
You can go to your guru, your source of knowledge, a billion times to ask a billion questions. And you’ll get answers. But what that guru wants is NOT to keep answering you. Not because he’s a jerkface who doesn’t value you, but because he wants you to start drawing your own answers. That’s the sign that he’s been an effective source of guidance.
The ability to tell yourself, “Oh XXXXXX is like that one situation in the past….this is what I can do to handle it…” is CRUCIAL. Recognition of options and abilities is fundamental, and critical for success.
Because you’re going to go out into the world, and you’re not always going to have that guru handy.
So fundies…..
For screaming that what you believe is true…I applaud you. For having the courage to do it publically…I further applaud you.
But taking it too far, and determining that I NEED your guidance over my own? No thanks. Check please.
Developing your own guidance must come from more than one model. This is not to say that one set of beliefs is “better than others”, but it is far more educational to learn as much as possible from as varied a source as possible. In the Community, this is not to say that you must learn from Company X and Company Z (especially when so many companies are so different)…but rather you must take the knowledge and value you learn and apply it in concert with the other stuff you know.
Guidance trumps the “magic pill”. Guidance removes that sheen of “w0w, that guy is soooo kewl!!! lolz!!” We’re just human after all, and we built ourselves to this point, just as one day you will too.
So how does one gain guidance?
Step 1: Find source material
Step 2: Apply source material
Step 3: Combine personal experience with source material
Step 1 is pretty easy. Depending on your particular interest, you can easily Google up some information on something.
Step 2 is also pretty simple. You take that information and go try it, as is. If it’s 5 words and a little dance, that’s what you do. No personalization. Just copying. You have to see if it works afterall.
Step 3 is the step that most people don’t get to. Why? Because once people jump onto Step 2, and they (for a variety of reasons) experience failure, they deem it to be “garbage” and then go back to Step 1 with all new material.
This is the equivalent of eating one life of lettuce, not liking it, and then eating a radish.
Step 3 (Personalization) is the cornerstone of guidance. You take what someone else gives you, add your own experience – AND MAKE IT YOUR OWN.
Also, this eliminates the “X copying/ripping off Y” drama that seems to occupy children, fools and guys who spend too much time talking theory (under the guise of spreading knowledge, of course) Note — Hi Haters! Enjoy that piracy! Yes, we all know you do it.
If Guru X gives you material, the secret of it’s success is not in shameless, mindless repetition. That’s just an ego-feeder for the creator. The real genius is the guy who gives you examples and lets you create your own. Understand the material’s components, not it’s delivery system. By knowing the components, you can adapt it to suit you.
Example: “Hi, I’m Tim, You’re cute and I had to come meet you.”
Yes, I could totally replace “Tim” with “John” and go repeat this 3000000 times a night. But do I know why that works? What are the components?
Spend some time dissecting it. Look at what it offers – Authenticity, Value, Direct Energy, Honesty.
Knowing the components I can transform this from repeating someone’s else line into my own:
“Hey, I’m John, it’s awesome meeting you.”
Self-guidance is one more self- that you need to add to your toolbox, along with self-belief, self-truct, self-esteem and self-sufficiency.
Hope everyone had a great weekend. I look forward to a good week ahead.
With more bloggy goodness.
1 Comment
July 15, 2008 at 8:28 am
Yeah, so I was on the subway fucking with some religious fundamentalist. He was on his way to a construction job. On his way in the subway he tried to hand me a flier and I pretty much pretended i wanted one and then kept moving my hand away.
But you know what. I’m not a religious man by any sense. But I give this guy so much credit. I respect him. He does what he feels is right. He tells me he can’t tell me what to believe but that he can only show me. I trash the bible saying man wrote it. And he tells me yes. He told me not to listen to man. Not even to listen to him – man is corruptible. Just do what’s right. Do what God wanted.
I might not believe what he has to offer or say. But he’s doing good. Not in it for the money or to convert. Just because it’s the right thing.